Share a tipple with your turkey!
Turn on oven.
Get hold of the bugger and remove the neck and innards (alternatively smile nicely at your local friendly butcher to do this for you). Wash out the inside and stuff it with lemon, halved, and some fresh thyme.
In a big pan stick some chopped up onions, carrots, celery, bit more thyme, bay leaves and 2 cloves of garlic and a splash of wine if you feel like it.
Use these to form a bed and sit the Turkey on it. Smother Mr Turkey in butter.
Next use some BIG tin foil which you wrap from 2 directions (2 long pieces as a cross) and wrap under the tin and over the Turkey from all 4 sides effectively creating a tent. Roll over corners to seal but leave a gap so that the foil is not touching the top and side of the bird.
Roast for 20 minutes per pound and 20 over, (check oven instructions).
Take off foil (peel back) with about 45 minutes to an hour left to brown the bird, basting with juices out of the pan.
When cooked, stick a spike down through the leg and look for blood/pinky juice. If it runs clear then its done.
Take out the Turkey, sit it on a board or plate and wrap in foil. Pour all the stuff in the bottom into a big jug. Add some more wine, zizz up, season = perfect Gravy. Thin by pushing through sieve if you want.
Drink a glass of i heart Pinot Noir.
- 500ml full fat milk
- Peeled onion, studded with cloves
- Bay leaf
- 5 slices of white bread
- Salt and pepper
Bring milk to boil with onion and bay leaf in it. Leave it to cool. Break up bread and stick into milk and mask together. Cover in cling film. When ready to serve bring back to the boil, you may have to add a little milk (or cream) and stir all together. Add seasoning.
Cook some good sausages separately in olive oil in the oven for about 45 mins/maybe an hour. Check and roll over occasionally.
ROAST SPUDS IN GOOSE FAT
Peel however many potatoes you want and cut to preferred size; not too small and par boil for 6 mins or so. Stick goose fat in pan, melt in the oven, add spuds, cover in the fat, takes about an hour.
Drink a glass of i heart Malbec that you’ve hidden from everybody else.
- Box cooked chestnuts
Peel and cook sprouts for no more than 3-4 minutes. Drain and put aside. In a separate pan (or the one just used, dried) cook lardons in butter and then add chopped chestnuts, when ready chuck in the sprouts and fully mix in.
Good to do these last, and effectively stir fry heat straight onto the plate.
Stop, drink glass of i heart Shiraz and smile, looking innocent all the time.
Back to the carrots; cut diagonally into 1.5cm lengths and either cook in the oven for an hour in olive oil, or fry for about 10/15 minutes in veg oil. Take out the oil and cover in orange juice (not drown) and sprinkle some tarragon over.
Bag of cranberries, port, fresh orange. Stick the cranberries in a pan with a bit of water and boil with some sugar added until soft. Drain off any liquid. Add some port, squeeze the orange juice over and keep stirring through, mashing the cranberries as you go. Again – don’t have too much liquid and keep tasting for port/OJ balance.
Crack open a large glass of i heart Prosecco, congratulate yourself and tell your guests to go home if they don’t like it.